Poster Day!!

7th Decemeber 2009

I had my selectives. My topic was about chiropractic and I drew the huge poster with my group members - amanda, chee leong, tai... We had alot of fun though, busy crapping around. Hehe. Then, Chee Leong drew 3x5 boxes in order to draw the block letters. It reminded me of a form5 senior who had helped me do my homework when i was in form1. He drew 1cmx1cm tiny boxes in 3 large artblocks when I was in form1. He knew that I hated artwork. Lol. There was once, I drew Old master Q and mr.potato "dai fan shu" and he wanted it so much. So, i gave it to him after the teacher returned it to me. I still remember how much he had taken care of me. Just like a small little sister (im just a form1 gal!!). He kept my books in his locker, brought it to me before class, waited for me to finish the class and put up the chairs for me. He also escaped his class to look for me during my lunch and keep me company whenever im alone.

There was a girl in my form liked him that time. Suddenly, I was just involved into the conflict out of nowhere. Then, my english books started to go missing and were found in different classes!! That really pissed me off as I got punished "I will not lie for not bringing my books again" for 5000 lines (the maximum) and I got it for ~30-40 times for every single english class!!

I explained to people that I wasn't in any relationship but nobody believed me. I tried to ignore but things got worst. Then, the girls started to backstab me in front of that senior, saying that I was using him all these while. He got pissed and totally ignored me. I asked him why, and he said, "Ask ur friends." I didnt talk to him at all till a few days later, he called me and said that he was so sorry and he was too stupid to believe them. I said that it was really ok. I always think that he's a good big bro to me.

But, towards the end of the year, I don't know what I did. I built a wall away from him. I started to avoid him and totally ignored him. I left him in disappointment before his graduation. He beared with it for almost more than a year. He still came to school to look for me. He told me that he hadnt throw the poster i gave him and he was really angry when his mom almost threw it away. But, i lied and said that i had forgotten bout it. Sadly, I hadnt had a chance to say sorry to him. I'm not sure whether he forgave me, but the very last time I talked to him, I know he didnt.

I know that I have a problem with myself. I tend to protect myself and build a wall around me, once i sense something isn't right. Then, I will become "Incommunicable". Yes, that's the term. It's something that nobody will be able to understand me. I wasnt able to control it. I'M SERIOUS!!!

The same thing happened every time, and every year until now though. I'm a stupid girl. Moron. Or whatever u can call me.

However, I will always remember at heart the people who really care for me, although I will never be able to return enough.

But, there was only one person that was able to breakdown the wall regardless how many times i build the wall away from him. The wall seemed to be so easily destructible by him. Thus, I gave up building a wall away from him anymore. Nightmares, sweetdreams...are inexplainable and yet, hurting at the same time. Devastated should be a good term to describe. I wouldnt dare to think about it, not even a slightest bit. But, it was a past when i was 15. Arghh..I feel old now. Anyway, a past is always a past. I wont look back either. I know that someone is waiting ahead to breakdown the wall. All i need is, right time, right PLACE (no more faraway thing), and the right person, and I ll be ready by then. But, definitely, not now. Not now, when i know im leaving. The wall is definitely unbreakable now.

Okay, I don't want my mind to stray any further. Should go to sleep now. Good nite.

3rd December 2009

Ivan, my housemate came into my room in d middle of d night because there were 2 crickets in my room, hiding somewhere. LOL..honestly, i thought that he was scared of crickets as well.. But, he had proven me wrong that night..

I saw one of the crickets hid in a red bag, so i quickly threw that particular bag towards the balcony area. So, I thought that I would have a peaceful night. NO!!! I WAS WRONG!!! The partner of the cricket that I've mentioned previously, was hiding somewhere in the bookcase!!!!!! It made an eccentric superb noisy noise, to look for its mate.. I felt so guilty, and I ran to Ivan's room to tell him about it. LOL, he was playing his DOTA at first, u know guys~~once they started their game, they will take one hour to finish their thing.. So, i went back to my room, looking horrified, staring around...

The next minute, Ivan came into my room..HAHA.. and then, he looked around and tracked the position of the cricket by listening to the noise it had made..It was hiding somewhere near the bookcase, and Ivan gripped it with his hands and threw it into a plastic bag.. I was holding a broom (apparently, trying to shoo the cricket away) but in the end, i used the broom to shoo Ivan away!! HAHAHA... Im not being mean!! That was because he approached me with the cricket inside d plastic bag.. Yea, he made me screamed the whole night.. I'll bet that the neighbours would be scolding me.. lol...

I still remember the day when I had my diarrhea before my exam, he forced me to drink his bitter herb... HUHU!!! I was almost tearing, cuz it was the most bitter-ever-drink i've ever drank in my entire life and u know, im really a stubborn gal..of cuz, i refused to, and he took 30 minutes to persuade me.... and den later, he made me supper =) Oh well, not dat bad after all (free supper)

Ivan's shifting out soon due to some reason... oh well, i think that it's better for u too =) but, u ll always be my best lil bro =)

Thanks lil bro ^.^

It's a Saturday

Thanks for everything u did for me today... It really put a smile on my face =) as well as making me gain weight!! HAHA... I wasnt really stoning into d middle of the air, but was actually thinking of... hmm FOOD!!! =)

The carbonara pasta was really good though despite the amont of calories that I had ingested on that day... =D and the yummy chocolate icecream~~ and luckily i refused to eat famous amos cookies dat u wanted to buy... hahha, or else, u will see a big, round girl next time =D

Anyway, Thanks again =)

7th nov

I had muet exam this morning. Last night was really fun! I slept at rachel's house and we were "studying our muet" while watching a movie acted by robbie williams. Besides, I learnt how to make cheese cake with rachel's sister (rachel doesnt like to bake cake =( !!!! The cake was so awesome, and delicious!!! =) *ah, im just so proud of myself* Thanks to rachel and reyna =D ^^

I think i've made up my mind to come back 2 malaysia to work after i graduate in few years time. I have always wanted to leave here, but now, I think that the best place is actually a place where u call HOME filled with laughters.

Bible says: Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful

I'm meditating these words. I won't be in denial anymore. I won't run away from the truth. I won't try to prevent myself from getting hurt. I won't build a wall to keep a distance either. And I will try my best not to hurt the people I love anymore. I will take all the pain, and I will prefer to get hurt, rather than hurting. Learn to not to be stubborn. Learn to take things that don't go the way that I want. Learn to be selfless, and put others' needs before mine.

After I have chosen this medical path, I have always looked back. There are times when i regret and wanna stop because I have lost something very important to me.

Time doesn't stop for me. Stop crying and continue to walk this path and finish it...

my BIRTHDAY!! =D

3rd Nov 2009

My family and friends wished me happy birthday. Thanx ppl!! =D ... I'm really happy today.. My friends threw me a surprise birthday celebration hehe... and I really appreciate that!!! Special Thanks to emi, rachel (for d morning surprise!) , jo housemate, and little ivan (for d midnite surprise)!! =D ..

I miss home now. ='( . But, there's so much work to do. Exam is coming again!! .. Eeying, i hope u're doing fine. Dun give up yea!!! I ll be in library next week onwards. I can go n teach u some medical related stuffs. But, I don't know what u have covered in ur pharmacy course. But I will try my best yea =D I will see what i can help for d drugs. *My drugs are pretty bad!* By the way, I have never seen such a determined girl like u. I'm really proud to get to know u. Hehe, I miss those days when we were studying for our college exams and we camped in library til 10pm .. WHOAA... LOL...=) continue to study hard yea... I wanna see Ee ying as a pharmacist next time =)

ok..im going back to study now... =)

Oinky's Birthday

I am currently back in vista. Sigh. I wanna go home.

3rd Oct, 2009

Little Brandon celebrated his first birthday. Sadly, 2 of my sisters weren't there because they are now at overseas. It was quite interesting since I have not met my cousins for ages. All of them have grown up to become really pretty. Besides, almost all of them are getting married and some of them already have few kids!! They asked me, when will I be finishing my course. Nah, there's a long more way to go, with my unpredictable future, letting God to take over my destiny and fate. All i need to do is believe in Him and I shall wait for his right time.

Emi's birthday is also on the 3rd Oct. Happy birthday! =)

5th Oct, 2009
Oink oink ~ happy birthday! =)


~Aim for GU~cheers!

27th Sept 2009

Today, is THE END of raya holiday. I have only touched 2/50 lecture notes, and tmr onwards, I have 2 systems namely reproduction and renal to go. No major exam HUH??? This is how i slacked, and then I will start to cramp 1 system in 1 week. That's what I always do. BAD HUH!??@!? Kids out there, please don't learn from me =)